Why Don't Men feel Guilt?

My usual morning routine involves getting myself ready for the day, the kids ready for school and watching the news.  On Tuesday, CBS This Morning interviewed Bryce Covert from New York Magazine about a recently published article that was getting a lot of attention on social media.  

The article titled When Men Want Kids - and Women Aren't So Sure  looked at women in their late 20s to early 30s who don't know if they want to be moms.  Covert says the main reason was over balance.  More women don't believe they can have it all.  Covert says even though men say they want an equal relationship the weight of raising kids falls on women.  She told CBS This Morning, "I also think it's very tough in this country to balance your career and your children."

I have to agree, but that doesn't mean we can't try to find balance.  I think our mothers fought for equality and made a little progress but working mom's still need help.  

I think it was interesting to hear Covert bring up guilt.  She says,  Men aren't going to be asked to give things up and they're not going to be guilted about it."  Why do we women feel so much guilt when we leave our crying baby with the nanny?  The "nanny cam" will show you that most of the time, your child will stop crying shortly after you leave.

When I worked for CBS News as a correspondent servicing the CBS affiliates across the country I felt guilty leaving my newborn for a week.  The previous year during my pregnancy I traveled 200 days away from home.  That wasn't difficult because I obviously carried my child wherever I went, like a kangaroo.  

It was when I went back to work that I felt an overwhelming amount of guilt even though I knew my daughter was in good hands.  Moms have a tendency to think we aren't being a good mother because we aren't there 24/7 to feed, bathe, change diapers and cuddle our children.  

My husband on the other hand, travels and doesn't feel any guilt.  I asked him about it and he just shrugs his shoulders saying it's not something he spends time worrying about.  I like  how Charlie Rose put it,  "Men and women both want equality but women don't expect it."

Covert thinks things may get easier for the next generation.  She says they will watch us as parents and think we're figuring it out.  "We're going to get to equality.'"

I think a lot of us go into this believing we can have it all.... and some find it..... maybe it's learning to deal with the guilt, learning to pray or meditate daily, or learning when it's OK to say "It's good enough."   I admit having family close by helps a great deal.  My sister had to take the kids to school for me this week and I'm thankful for that.  Like so many women, I love being a mom and I love my career.  I wouldn't want any woman to have to chose between one or the other..... unless of course that's what she wanted.

Note: "When Good Enough is Perfect" NEVER comes into play for my professional or school work.