Pulled in All Directions

May has always been a busy month.  A time when school ends, graduations take place, wedding invitations arrive. Then there's Mother’s Day.  And in my life,  there are numerous friends and family birthday.  I feel as though I’m being pulled in all directions.  So with that in mind,  I decided to make a plan:

1.     Prioritize:

What event is most important?  Who is most important?  I was raised going to church and grew up prioritizing God, family, then career/school.  What comes next is up for debate.  The family pet, neighbors and friends, staying engaged on social media, PTA or myself usually follow.  However putting oneself last is never the best idea.

2.     Give Your Undivided Attention:

       

I recently started reading Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook by Gary          Vaynerchuck and he says, “There’s no such thing as undivided attention anymore.”  One only has to look around to know that it’s true.  We see it everywhere.  At my kids’ school functions I see parents checking their
email or texting.  At weddings I’m sure guests are posting to Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.  In line at the grocery store I see people searching on their smartphones.  But stay focused, it will help you build long, lasting memories.

  

3.     Enjoy the Moment:

When my children were babies older mom’s often would tell me, “They grow so fast.”  At the time I didn’t believe it.  The sleepless nights can leave one dragging for days.  But as my daughters grew older and more independent, I realized how true that phrase is.  Cherish the time spent at your child’s musical and the moments that make you proud.  

My 10 year-old in Seusical the Musical

The same can be said for aging parents.  There is a time as adults when we go off and do our own thing, but a health scare or moment of frailness can leave you with the realization that no one lives forever.  Spend time with mom and dad.  Hold those special moments a second longer than normal.

4.     Take Time for Yourself:

With the graduation and parties taking place this month, I know I don’t want to look tired and ragged.  Go get a facial, workout, get a manicure and pedicure.  Go to the coffee shop by yourself and read a good book.  Spend time at the mall buying a new outfit, or lock yourself behind closed doors binging on the series you never got to watch.  But make sure this isn’t an afterthought, plan for it. 

Reminding myself to incorporate these four basic principles helps keep my sanity intact and makes me feel confident about getting through this ridiculously busy month.  If I miss a birthday or two, or forget to walk the dog...it’s going to be okay.  I can always make it up to them and my dog will still love me.

Note: "When Good Enough is Perfect" NEVER comes into play for my professional or school work. 

Figuring out Costly Medical Bills

Understanding an “Explanation of Benefit” statement can be confusing. I sort through my own family’s statements and after a careful look over I can usually figure it out. If I can’t, I make a phone call to the insurance company or medical office. I’m typically at all of the medical visits so I know which exam and procedures were performed.  But when it comes to my parents, I find myself shaking my head and becoming frustrated over their statements.

My parents tell me they’re trying to figure it out. They typically go in person to the medical center.  I have never understood why they just can’t make a phone call, but they like to go in person. Both my mom and dad have Spanish accents and when I suggest they get a Spanish speaking person to speak with, they tell me it’s even more difficult to understand.

According to my dad’s EOB one chemotherapy infusion costs $60,000 and he has had six infusions.
It breaks down to each drug administered, lab chemistry, IV therapy and therapeutic services and these services are listed several times. I realize that the EOB is NOT a bill, but when my parents got the actual bill from the medical center it is for more than their total out-of-pocket expense. When I called the insurance company the woman told me I had to call the medical center. When I called them they told me that’s all the insurance company was going to pay and my father could set up payments to pay the rest. This did not make any sense to me since I believe that the total out-of-pocket expense means my parents don’t have to pay more than that.  I asked for an itemized bill to be sent.

I’m learning how important it is to check your EOB against your medical bill. There are now careers that focus on helping the patient figure out their bill. On the website http://www.medicalrecoveryservices.org there is a cool infographic regarding high medical bills and information on how to fight them.


Medical bill advocates make money when they save the patient money. Their salary is a percentage of what they save the client. When should you get help? A blog from nerdwallet.com has some answers.

Bills, especially medical bills can cause anyone’s stress level to rise. And these days there are so many errors made by the medical center and insurance company. When I get the itemized bill for my father I hope I can figure it all out.  I have a feeling the answer may not be good enough for me.

Note: "When Good Enough is Perfect" NEVER comes into play for my professional or school work.

Feeling Overwhelmed?

Washing the dog, gardening and making sure the house is clean can all fall by the wayside when you're overly committed and feeling overwhelmed.  But certain things cannot go undone.  Work, picking up the kids, taking a loved one to a chemotherapy appointment or doctor's visit miles away from where you need to be can leave you pulling your hair out.  Luckily for those of us in the so-called sandwich generation there are home health care companies that can help.

I interviewed Tanya Finnerty with Homewatch Caregivers in North San Diego County.  They provide everything from making sure an elderly parent gets their medication to grocery shopping for a busy mom.

It's nice to know there's help when you need it.  With so many of us living longer there will be some things one cannot do for themselves.  You can find out more about Homewatch Caregivers by clicking here. 

Note: "When Good Enough is Perfect" NEVER comes into play for my professional or school work.

Problem Solving Pre-Teen style

As a mother, there’s a natural instinct to protect your child.  When my daughter Julia came home from school I could tell by the look on her face that something had upset her.

She told me that a girl, she has been friends with since the start of school, we’ll call her Sandy, told Julia she no longer wanted to hang out with her.  She and another girl, we’ll call Jewel, then decided to find my daughter a friend and asked another student, Candy, if she would be a friend with my daughter.  They then reported back to Julia that Candy would NEVER want to be her friend.

How cruel.  I was infuriated, how can someone do that to my sweet, kind, considerate, beautiful angel?

I want to teach my children to solve their own problems.  But I know how difficult this can be.  I used to host a PBS show, A Place of Our Own, which helped parents prepare their young children for school and life.  I always applied what I learned to my life with my kids.

We did an entire show on problem solving.  I remember advice from one expert who said, help kids develop problem-solving skills by not always running to their rescue.  She said when they fall down at the park, as long as their safe let them pick themselves up.  Later, when I was at the park with my kiddos I tried to actually do this and observe how other parents reacted.  Every mom and nanny I saw ran to the child as soon as they fell or couldn’t make it up the platform they were trying to climb. 

My daughter then took a tumble.  I saw that she wasn’t physically hurt so I decided to see what she would do next.  But another mother rushed in and helped her up.  This happened a few times.  Each time my daughter fell on her bottom another mom would help her up if I didn’t run over.  I wondered what these moms thought of me.

From talking to numerous parenting experts on A Place of Our Own I knew problem solving is an important life skill to learn.  We started in pre-school but the process of learning this skill needs to continue in the pre-teen and teenage years. 

I talked with my daughter about the options she has.  She decided that she could play with other girls that were in her class last year.  She asked me if I could text their mom to make sure they wanted to play with her.  That broke my heart.  She was losing confidence on her ability to have friends based on the hearsay reported by Sandy and Jewel.

That’s where I thought I should step in and contact Candy’s mom.  I knew Candy.  She’s a sweet girl and I couldn’t imagine her saying she would NEVER play with Julia.  I emailed her mom and immediately got a phone call.  That was not what she said.  Candy was actually having a disagreement with Jewel and things were relayed out of context.

The next day after school, Julia told me she and the other girls got called into the Principal’s office.  Wow, it’s not any place I’d ever expect my daughter to be.  Sandy had remorse and was crying all day at school, so the Principal stepped in.  “You can’t exclude anyone on the playground,” she said.  Julia said she nodded her head and went back to class.

Sandy then told Julia she was told by Jewel to not play with my daughter anymore.  Jewel’s mom said they have discussed with Jewel numerous time about her being possessive of her friends.  Jewel then wrote Julia a letter saying how sorry she was.

By the end of the week Julia seemed happier.  She made a choice to continue playing with the girls from her class last year.  Sandy and Jewel asked if they could all play together and all agreed not to exclude anyone.

We all face different problems each day, from choosing what to wear to peer issues.  As we get older the problems can get more complex.  When children gain problem solving skills they gain confidence.  Reinforcement from parents is just as important and I need to do a better job.  Here’s an instance when good enough ISN’T perfect.  Instead of saying, “Good job”, I could say, “Wow, you figured that out all by yourself.”  This gives value to what they’re achieving and encourages them to continue on the road to self-reliance.

Note: "When Good Enough is Perfect" DOES NOT comes into play for my professional or school work.

We All Need a Break

I think many of us know we need to take the time to recharge are batteries for the sake of our sanity, but how many of us actually do it?  Part of playing the balancing act in this "Sandwich Generation" is taking the time to relax and recharge so that we can be our best.  I recently had spring break from a graduate course that I'm taking.  You would think that would be a good time to pause and rejuvenate.  But since my kids had a modified school schedule that same week, I didn't get much of a break. 

Now they are in the middle of their two week spring break.  I never got two weeks off for spring break.... not during my early education years or college years.  But we are in a "laid back" school district where yoga classes are offered and the students get two weeks off for fall break and two weeks for spring break.  Maybe our current school district knows something about recharging for better productivity.

With work in the way, our family only took an extended weekend 120 miles to the north of us.  We enjoyed Universal Studios, the La Brea Tar Pits, walking around Beverly Hills and swimming in the hotel pool.  But for a working mom with young children and aging parents it didn't seem too relaxing.

With so many responsibilities, one needs self care and some pampering.  An About Health article found the benefits of self care.  The benefits include revitalization inside and out, a reduction in chronic stress, and becoming a better caretaker.

With that in mind, the girls and I got a manicure.  And since they were on vacation they wanted treats.  I baked up some brownies and scones.  The aroma of chocolate and baked goods makes me happy and warm inside. I definitely don't feel any stress when baking yummy goodies.

I found a blog post listing 10 reasons why stress baking is actually a great way to relieve stress.  I'm sold.  Before the week is up, I may bake a cake, pie and definitely cookies. 

Note: "When Good Enough is Perfect" NEVER comes into play for my professional or school work.

The perfect burial site

There comes a time when a decision must be made on where a loved one’s body will be buried.  Sometimes it comes without any notice.  Other times the person whose body will be buried can be a part of the planning. 

Eternal Hills

Lush green manicured lawns with rolling hills and a sweeping breeze from the Pacific Ocean.  Beautiful I thought.  On the website, Eternal Hills is described as “An ideal location to remember a life well lived.”  Nice slogan.  Another statement on the website says, "Planing your final arrangements in advance is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your family."

For the last few months my mother has been asking me to choose a plot for her for when she passes.  My father has made the choice to be cremated and 18 months ago when he was diagnosed with cancer, my mom chose a final resting place for his ashes at Eternal Hills.  My mother is not one to keep ashes in an urn on top of the mantle. 

Now, she has decided she also wants to be at Eternal Hills but not next to my dad’s ashes, which will rest in a mausoleum.  She wants to be in the beautiful grass with a tombstone close to the mausoleum where my dad will be.  But, she tells me, “I don’t want to know exactly where it is because I will have nightmares.”  That's why I have to make the decision. 

When we arrived at the cemetery, Jacqueline met with us and discussed my mother’s options.  She drove us around in a golf cart showing us different locations.  As we drove by grieving families at various gravesites, I imagined what it would be like for our family when the time comes. 

I applaud my mother for thinking ahead but I’m struggling as to where to place her lifeless body.  Will she like it?  My dad says he doesn’t want any part of the decision making.  I tried pleading with him, "Mom picked your spot, don't you want to pick hers?"  It didn't work.  So whatever plot I choose will have to be good enough.  I really don’t think there is a perfect spot.  Besides, I believe it’s just a body; an outer shell and her soul will be in a better place.  I pray, that the years will pass before the plot will actually get some use.

Note: "When Good Enough is Perfect" NEVER comes into play for my professional or school work.

Why Don't Men feel Guilt?

My usual morning routine involves getting myself ready for the day, the kids ready for school and watching the news.  On Tuesday, CBS This Morning interviewed Bryce Covert from New York Magazine about a recently published article that was getting a lot of attention on social media.  

The article titled When Men Want Kids - and Women Aren't So Sure  looked at women in their late 20s to early 30s who don't know if they want to be moms.  Covert says the main reason was over balance.  More women don't believe they can have it all.  Covert says even though men say they want an equal relationship the weight of raising kids falls on women.  She told CBS This Morning, "I also think it's very tough in this country to balance your career and your children."

I have to agree, but that doesn't mean we can't try to find balance.  I think our mothers fought for equality and made a little progress but working mom's still need help.  

I think it was interesting to hear Covert bring up guilt.  She says,  Men aren't going to be asked to give things up and they're not going to be guilted about it."  Why do we women feel so much guilt when we leave our crying baby with the nanny?  The "nanny cam" will show you that most of the time, your child will stop crying shortly after you leave.

When I worked for CBS News as a correspondent servicing the CBS affiliates across the country I felt guilty leaving my newborn for a week.  The previous year during my pregnancy I traveled 200 days away from home.  That wasn't difficult because I obviously carried my child wherever I went, like a kangaroo.  

It was when I went back to work that I felt an overwhelming amount of guilt even though I knew my daughter was in good hands.  Moms have a tendency to think we aren't being a good mother because we aren't there 24/7 to feed, bathe, change diapers and cuddle our children.  

My husband on the other hand, travels and doesn't feel any guilt.  I asked him about it and he just shrugs his shoulders saying it's not something he spends time worrying about.  I like  how Charlie Rose put it,  "Men and women both want equality but women don't expect it."

Covert thinks things may get easier for the next generation.  She says they will watch us as parents and think we're figuring it out.  "We're going to get to equality.'"

I think a lot of us go into this believing we can have it all.... and some find it..... maybe it's learning to deal with the guilt, learning to pray or meditate daily, or learning when it's OK to say "It's good enough."   I admit having family close by helps a great deal.  My sister had to take the kids to school for me this week and I'm thankful for that.  Like so many women, I love being a mom and I love my career.  I wouldn't want any woman to have to chose between one or the other..... unless of course that's what she wanted.

Note: "When Good Enough is Perfect" NEVER comes into play for my professional or school work. 

Kids Eat Free

When I saw a sign at my favorite fast casual restaurant, Luna Grill,  saying, "Kids Eat Free on Tuesday" I decided to give it a try.  Maybe it would help solve the "What's for dinner dilemma."  I then thought about searching for other restaurants that might offer a similar deal.  I found an Italian restaurant called Borrelli's offering a free dinner for kids on Monday.

My family and I have never been to Borrelli's and we don't usually go out to eat on Monday.  When we walked in we were seated right away.  We were given menus and I asked if my kids can eat for free?  The waitress said, "Yes we've offered it for years and not very many people know about it."  I asked if Mondays were typically slow and if that was the reason for it.  She said it was one of the slow days of the week and yes that's why they do it.  You get one free kid's meal for each adult purchased entree.

We brought my mother along and she ordered spaghetti with meatballs.  My husband and younger daughter ordered the same.  I thought to myself, I could have easily made that at home without too much work.  I felt better when my older daughter ordered lasagna until we were told that it is not included in the kid's "eat free" menu.  We were also told that drinks were not included.  And both of my daughters wanted a Shirley Temple which cost more than any of fountain drinks offered.  My husband's attitude, "We're eating out, let them order what ever they want."  I typically would agree with that statement, but the only reason we were going out to eat on a Monday was because I wanted to make weeknight meals easy and not have to cook and clean every night. I didn't realize this would entail a few rules.  The waitress suggested that my mom order the kid's spaghetti with meatballs because it was a big portion, that way we could still get two free kids' meals, nevermind that she's a senior citizen.  I didn't see an age limit on the children's menu.  I ordered the Eggplant Parmigiana, I know it takes work to make.

Dinner was good and my daughters ordered dessert because they heard their father say,  "Order what you want."  The entire bill including the tip came to $61.00, not including alcohol.   I figured I could have bought the following:

2 boxes of Decco spaghetti         $6.00

Borrelli's Pizza and Itallian Food

2 jar's of Bertolli sauce                $4.00
Garlic bread                                 $2.00
Bag of salad and tomato              $3.50
_____________________________
Total                                            $15.50

Add a jar of Maraschino cherries  $3.99
2 liter bottle of 7-up                       $2.50
__________________________________
                                                       $6.49
Total                                             $21.99

But my kitchen remained clean with no dishes to wash.

Luna Grill

On Tuesday I decided we would go to Luna Grill to check out their "Kids Eat Free" deal.  This place is really a win, win for my family.  The kids' meals include a drink.  I ordered my favorite Mediterranean Chicken Salad, my husband had a Chicken Kabob Plate and the kids ordered Junior Burgers with a salad and fries.  They were actually too full to order dessert. The bill was under $26.00 and we came home to a clean kitchen. When I asked if there were any restrictions for the kids eat free promotion, they told me that you can't use your Luna Rewards Club card to gain points.  I didn't even know they had such a card.

I then started to searh for other restaurants that offer a kids eat free deal.  The North County Local Life Style Guide found several local restaurants. http://yournorthcounty.com/article/restaurants-where-kids-eat-free-in-north-county-san-diego/

It's worth doing at least once a week if you follow the rules.

Note: "When Good Enough is Perfect" NEVER comes into play for my professional or school work.   http://www.borrellispizza.net/
http://www.lunagrill.com/

Family Meals Minus the Stress

In my search to find an answer for the everyday dinner dilemma, I decided to check out Dream Dinners, a franchise that allows you to prepare dinners in their store.  The thought of making a mess in someone else kitchen is appealing.  They have the spices, the vegetables already chopped, and all of the ingredients you need to assemble the perfect dish.  The only thing you have to do is measure, stir and place into freezer bags. 

Full disclosure here, I have tried them before but I never analyzed it.  I decided to revisit this idea of dinner when they sent me an email last week offering 15% off the already assembled meals with no minimum purchase.  So I took them up on their offer but this time I took out my calculator and started thinking about my time and money.  I purchased four, three-serving meals and two side dishes for about $72.00.  But before I left,  just like they always do after completing you're meal preparation, they tempt you with food samples from some of the meals on the menu.  On the day I went, they had made a yummy, creamy dish called "Pub Style Chicken with Mashed Potatoes".  They offered a free three serving meal of this dish if I booked "today".  Needless to say, they sold me on scheduling my session.

The minimum order is six, six-serving meals.  The chicken dishes range from $24.99 - $38. for six servings while the beef dishes range from $38. - $45. The pork dishes range from $28. - $34. The shrimp and seafood stew meals run from $39. - $41.  When you break it down per serving, the range is $4.17 - $7.50.  It takes about an hour to to assemble six different meals, if you know what you're doing and don't spend too much time talking.  It's a reasonable amount of time out of my day and a reasonable price.  The best part of the deal is that I don't have to think too much about "what's for dinner."  However, I found that there's still some work to do once you get home.

Some of the meals come with a side dish of green beans, asparagus or potatoes.  Usually another side dish is needed such as a salad, rice, or beans.  I made the "Orange Bourbon Chicken" with asparagus, we did not have any leftovers the next night and my husband says the serving sizes are "skimpy".   I made rice and a salad to go with it and it was very tasty.

The assembly session at the store is fun with music playing in the background.  I can be very focused when I follow the recipes and even alter them, placing any cheese in a separate bag because some in our family don't like the creamy, smooth, melting chunks.  One daughter has a sensitivity to gluten, so I will be able to cook gluten-free pasta and scoop some of the sauce from the dish I make on to her pasta. 

For four dishes I save at least an hour a day without the stress.  As far as the cost,  I made a similar dish this week and here's what I purchased:
2 lbs of chicken breasts $7.98 ( I bought the family pack and took out 2 lbs)
1 bottle of Roasted Pineapple Habanero Sauce $7.99
1 lb of asparagus $2.99
1 1/2 cups of rice $3.00
1 bag of pre-washed salad, tomatoes, cucumber $4.50
1 loaf French bread $1.50
__________________________________
Total is $27.96

$27.96 is similar to what I would pay at Dream Dinners, but you wouldn't get the rice, salad, and bread.  So I subtracted those items and came up with $18.96.  This is about $12.00 less than I would spend at Dream Dinners.  So far, I like this idea and I'm looking forward to my session.

Note: "When Good Enough is Perfect" NEVER comes into play for my professional or school work.

A Little Help from My Friends

In an effort to figure out the dinner dilemma in trying to find balance, I solicited a little help from my friends on Facebook. It is clearly something a lot of busy people think about.  I heard from moms, grandmas, men and women.

Several people said they plan on Sundays, taking inventory of what they have on hand, what they plan to prepare during the week, and what items they need to purchase.  One mom said she plans for a week and takes the same schedule into the rest of the month.  For example; Monday - pizza, Tuesday - tacos, Wednesday - "white trash" (not my words), Thursday - left overs, and Friday - Friday night delight.  There are no plans for weekend nights, which is typically my plan too.

I met with one of my friends this week who said she had a similar plan but varied it according to what she had on hand or convenience packages she bought from Trader Joe's.   A number of friends and strangers I quizzed at the grocery store told me they make sure they have frozen bags of vegetables, spices, and dried goods on hand.  They then shop every couple of days for fresh produce and meat.  There was also a friend who manages to get to the farmer's market each week (I'm so jealous).  I'm lucky if I can make it there twice a year.

Casseroles and the crock pot came up a lot too.  For a crock pot, one must wake up earlier to put everything in so that it's ready when dinner rolls around.

Pinterest and Google searching recipes are also popular for finding simple dinners to make. 

I do enjoy cooking.  I guess that's why I can't just eat out every night.  During weeks where I can plan, I usually take the same approach as my former Girl Scout Troop co-leader suggested.  I aim for cooking three days a week, eat left-overs two days a week, and we eat out two days a week.  I'm also fortunate to sometimes get help from my mother who will pop in to cook dinner. 

In my quest for answers on Facebook, I had one long time friend who said this:
"My question for you is....how much time are you spending on prepping/shopping/cooking? Have you compared your value of time to that of a hired hand (part time) my guess is, you would be at same cost or less to have someone do all of that for you. You may be surprised."

I will look into this in the following weeks.

Note: "When Good Enough is Perfect" NEVER comes into play for my professional or school work.

Fun, Germs, and Fast food

With President's day kicking off the week, I thought it was going to be a good, fun, short week .  We did what many Americans do on a long weekend and had a barbeque.  Which basically means it's time for my husband to cook and I don't have to think about the family meal.  It is usually enough for one day of left overs too.

I had planned on this weeks blog continuing the discussion of planning dinner for a busy parent, but that will have to wait.  With work, school, my husband out of town,  and my youngest daughter coming down with the flu, that all went by the wayside and I just had to take a breath and remember my motto, "good enough". 

For the busiest of parents, there's always fast food and restaurants. And despite the guilt, my choices were "good enough".   Dinner at Chick-Fil-A sufficed one night.  I couldn't take my daughter with a temperature of 103 degrees into a restaurant, she was contagious.  At least the next night, we ran into an eatery that is a little healthier, Luna Grill, serving fresh Mediterranean fare.  I can't say the same for the rest of the nights.

I also failed to get items for our school fundraiser.  This week they were asking for themed donations for the upcoming auction that would be part of the fundraiser.  I had planned to buy items, but it just wasn't possible.  A busy mom has to prioritize and learn when to take a breath and say "it's good enough". 

My only saving grace was the thought that we did something educational for our kids this holiday weekend.  I couldn't let them sit around and be a couch potato on their day off from school.  We took them to the tide pools at Cardiff State beach.  It was a great way to enjoy nature, learn about some coastal creatures, and take in the beauty of living near the beach. 

The mussels, crabs, dark purple sea cucumbers and bright starfish were amazing and a great way to enjoy our surroundings. 

Perhaps an upcoming blog will be about healthy fast food for your family.  Food for thought.

Note: "When Good Enough is Perfect" NEVER comes into play for my professional or school work.

A common way to enjoy nature and the beauty of our surroundings is by taking a stroll near local tide-pools. A personal favorite San Diego pastime is walking the beach and tide-pools during a low-tide sunset. It’s a gift to capture the overwhelming beauty of a pristine beach, rocky reef, and beautiful sunset. The captivating green seaweed illuminates the water while the dark purple sea-cucumbers slink across the sand, orange starfish jumble the rocks, and fluorescent green sea anemones reach for the sun along the water’s edge.
If you're looking for a great way to spend a few hours at low-tide, here are a few of my favorite San Diego tide-pools:

1. Seaside Beach in Cardiff-by-the-Sea: With a large parking lot and gorgeous tall cliffs, Seaside Beach is home to my favorite tide-pools in San Diego County. Located just off Pacific Coast Highway, at the South end of Cardiff State Beach, these pools are easily accessible for a quick tide-pool trip or great for a long beach day, soaking up the sun and catching some surf. If you walk further South from Seaside, you reach the cliffs of Solana Beach and some beautiful caves in the cliffs. Please make sure to stay clear away from the cliffs as they are constantly eroding and can be very dangerous.

- See more at: http://www.sandiego.com/san-diego-blog/tide-pooling-great-san-diego-pastime#sthash.yLlnZy1A.dpuf

common way to enjoy nature and the beauty of our surroundings is by taking a stroll near local tide-pools. A personal favorite San Diego pastime is walking the beach and tide-pools during a low-tide sunset. It’s a gift to capture the overwhelming beauty of a pristine beach, rocky reef, and beautiful sunset. The captivating green seaweed illuminates the water while the dark purple sea-cucumbers slink across the sand, orange starfish jumble the rocks, and fluorescent green sea anemones reach for the sun along the water’s edge.
If you're looking for a great way to spend a few hours at low-tide, here are a few of my favorite San Diego tide-pools:

1. Seaside Beach in Cardiff-by-the-Sea: With a large parking lot and gorgeous tall cliffs, Seaside Beach is home to my favorite tide-pools in San Diego County. Located just off Pacific Coast Highway, at the South end of Cardiff State Beach, these pools are easily accessible for a quick tide-pool trip or great for a long beach day, soaking up the sun and catching some surf. If you walk further South from Seaside, you reach the cliffs of Solana Beach and some beautiful caves in the cliffs. Please make sure to stay clear away from the cliffs as they are constantly eroding and can be very dangerous.

- See more at: http://www.sandiego.com/san-diego-blog/tide-pooling-great-san-diego-pastime#sthash.yLlnZy1A.dpuf

A common way to enjoy nature and the beauty of our surroundings is by taking a stroll near local tide-pools. A personal favorite San Diego pastime is walking the beach and tide-pools during a low-tide sunset. It’s a gift to capture the overwhelming beauty of a pristine beach, rocky reef, and beautiful sunset. The captivating green seaweed illuminates the water while the dark purple sea-cucumbers slink across the sand, orange starfish jumble the rocks, and fluorescent green sea anemones reach for the sun along the water’s edge.
If you're looking for a great way to spend a few hours at low-tide, here are a few of my favorite San Diego tide-pools:

1. Seaside Beach in Cardiff-by-the-Sea: With a large parking lot and gorgeous tall cliffs, Seaside Beach is home to my favorite tide-pools in San Diego County. Located just off Pacific Coast Highway, at the South end of Cardiff State Beach, these pools are easily accessible for a quick tide-pool trip or great for a long beach day, soaking up the sun and catching some surf. If you walk further South from Seaside, you reach the cliffs of Solana Beach and some beautiful caves in the cliffs. Please make sure to stay clear away from the cliffs as they are constantly eroding and can be very dangerous.

- See more at: http://www.sandiego.com/san-diego-blog/tide-pooling-great-san-diego-pastime#sthash.yLlnZy1A.dpuf

A common way to enjoy nature and the beauty of our surroundings is by taking a stroll near local tide-pools. A personal favorite San Diego pastime is walking the beach and tide-pools during a low-tide sunset. It’s a gift to capture the overwhelming beauty of a pristine beach, rocky reef, and beautiful sunset. The captivating green seaweed illuminates the water while the dark purple sea-cucumbers slink across the sand, orange starfish jumble the rocks, and fluorescent green sea anemones reach for the sun along the water’s edge.
If you're looking for a great way to spend a few hours at low-tide, here are a few of my favorite San Diego tide-pools:

1. Seaside Beach in Cardiff-by-the-Sea: With a large parking lot and gorgeous tall cliffs, Seaside Beach is home to my favorite tide-pools in San Diego County. Located just off Pacific Coast Highway, at the South end of Cardiff State Beach, these pools are easily accessible for a quick tide-pool trip or great for a long beach day, soaking up the sun and catching some surf. If you walk further South from Seaside, you reach the cliffs of Solana Beach and some beautiful caves in the cliffs. Please make sure to stay clear away from the cliffs as they are constantly eroding and can be very dangerous.

- See more at: http://www.sandiego.com/san-diego-blog/tide-pooling-great-san-diego-pastime#sthash.yLlnZy1A.dpuf

Planning Dinner

"What's for dinner mommy?" says ten year old.  "Hmmm, I don't know," I reply.  "What?"  "Do you want us to starve?" she says.  That was our conversation on one weeknight this week.  It seems when 6:00 pm rolls around and I don't have something on the stove, my family will starve.  Of course I would never want my family to go hungry.

When I wake up in the morning, it's one of the first things I think about.  My mother always says, "If you don't put something in the crock-pot then you better start cooking at 4:00."   "Really," I tell her, do you know how short that makes my day?"  In an effort to be a good wife and mother, I constantly look for answers on this very subject.  I tried planning on Sunday, preparing some recipes and then freezing.  But the problem is, I can't keep it up week after week. 

I took out one of my favorite cook books, The Cancer Fighting cook book, by Rebecca Katz iwth Mat Edelson.  I bought this book after my father was diagnosed with cancer and quickly enjoyed many of the recipes I tried.  In the video below, I'm taking some short cuts that in my opinion, don't sacrifice taste, but make it easier on a busy person like myself.

Note: "When Good Enough is Perfect" NEVER comes into play for my professional or school work.

Organize, organize, organize

The key to stretching the hours of you day, I'm told, is to be organized.  In my mind, that means scheduling everything.  I write down my appointments, my kids and husband's appointments, and the many appointments of my parents. (You'll have to read my other blog to understand why I need to know their appointments.)  I put them on my calendar on my I-phone too.   There's also Siri.  She's very helpful for when I have to remember to buy ingredients for the clam chowder my daughter's class is making for their week studying marine animals or for remembering the checkbook for piano lessons at the beginning of the month.

A friend of mine recommended using Google calendar and syncing it to her phone and other devices.
http://m.imore.com/how-edit-calendar-defaults-alerts-and-sync-settings-iphone-and-ipad But I have another friend who said this, " I put all my events in Google calendar, then instantly ignore my calendar, then frantically stress out getting ready for said ignored events".  That can be me sometimes.  It's almost as though I have to plan for my plan.

Around everyone's else appointments, there's scheduling in work, completing my assignments for my graduate class and including my husband's work schedule.  He travels frequently so I have to figure out when it's my turn to play "single mom".  My husband just recently came off a 17 week traveling schedule.  He's a camera guy for CBS sports and his last NFL game for the season was the "deflategate" game.  I thought I had made it through.  I did not get pneumonia like I did one year. My kids seemed to be good and I managed to get through Christmas buying everyone's presents and planning a dinner for 33 people.  But I learned last week that I did not make it through unscathed.  We received a letter from the school district saying one of my daughters had 13 tardies to school.  Let's see, that would be the 13 of the 17 Mondays my husband was out of town.  I got the kids to school on time, before the bell rang.  My older daughter's class is in the front of the school, so no problem there. She doesn't have any tardies.  But my younger daughter with the shorter legs has further to walk.  Her class is in the back of the school and poor thing just can't make it.  At first I was upset, but I'm doing my best..... it's good enough, I keep telling myself. 

Another note to self, I'm only a part-time single mom, so for more insight on the juggling act of single motherhood,  I'll direct you to the following blog:

www.jennifertubwell.wordpress.com
"When Good Enough is Perfect" comes into play when my husband is out of town.  It has to or I'll go insane.  I have to tell one daughter I can't go to "Take your parents to lunch day" because I'm on a field trip with my other daughter.  I try to take turns with my two kids for school events.  Fortunately they are scheduled in advance and I can work them into my work and school plans.  But there is the "mommy guilt" of not being able to do it all.  The guilt especially sinks in when I see some moms who are on the PTA, at every field trip, help out with every fundraiser, and they're in the classroom almost as much as the teacher.  I just have to tell myself, I'm doing my best and it's good enough.
 
For a working mom, it is more than just scheduling appointments and activities.  There's also dinner to think about.  If I don't plan dinner or ask my husband to plan, we wouldn't eat.  This takes work and the focus for next weeks blog.  I'm not so sure my family will accept "good enough" when it comes to food.

Thanks for reading!
Note: "When Good Enough is Perfect" NEVER comes into play for my professional or school work.

Can we make a day last 34 hours?

My parents, kids, husband, and mother-in-law

Many of us have asked the question, "Can we stretch a 24 hour day?"  In my late teens to early twenties, I needed that extra time for college assignments, my job and my internship.... not to mention I tried to have a social life.  In my mid 20's to 30's it was all about career.  I needed more hours in the day to finish that investigative report or break a news story. Because of my career, I moved a lot and needed extra hours to learn about the community where I lived.  Yuma, Charlotte, Phoenix, and Dallas all had interesting sites to explore. This was also the time where I got married and added the title of wife to my profile.

Then, sometime in my 30's I took a look at my biological clock, it was time for family before it tick toked away.  I love being a mom to two beautiful girls.  The baby and toddler years required long days and little sleep.  I don't really think it matters if you're a working mom or stay at home mom.  Unless you have hired or volunteer help, you're not getting a whole lot of zzzzzz's.

The title to Liz O’Donnell's book, Mogul, Mom,& Maid is great. It captures it all.  Her book tells stories from moms from all walks of life and looks at how they juggle it all. Of course we moms know it's a balancing act.  One of the things she advises is to get more sleep.  It's good advice, but hard to follow.

Now, as I try to struggle with the kids' activities and work, I find my parents and mother-in-law aging. My husband and I are the turkey, the peanut butter and jelly, the Nutella, the meatballs, or whatever else you decide to put on your sandwich.  We are the Sandwich generation. But according to www.caregiver.org it's mostly the women being the caregivers.

• Estimates of the percentage of family or informal caregivers who are women range from 59% to 75%.¹
• The average caregiver is age 46, female, married and working outside the home.²
• Although men also provide assistance, female caregivers may spend as much as 50% more time providing care than male caregivers.³

Of course my husband helps, he's my rock, he's very supportive,  but I take on most of the care giving scheduling and responsibilities.

I've also decided to take Graduate courses.  It's something I've always wanted to do and never did until now.  As a reporter I was learning new things everyday in a profession I love.  So in 2015 I'm back at school to get my Masters.  I want to teach and give back to young journalists.

Which brings me back to my subject line, "Can we make a day last 34 hours?"  Of course the answer is no, but we in the Sandwich Generation can learn to let go and figure out when good enough is perfect.  In my following posts, I'll try to figure it out and give tips along the way. Maybe we can find ways to get inspired and magically stretch 24 hours into 34.
Thank you for reading.

References:
¹Arno, P. S. (2002, February). The economic value of informal caregiving, U.S., 2000. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the American Association for Geriatric Psychiatry.
²National Alliance for Caregiving, & AARP. Family caregiving in the U.S.: Findings from a national survey. Washington, DC.
³Family Caregiver Alliance. (2001). Selected Caregiver Statistics (Fact Sheet). San Francisco, CA: Author.